The bar set too high

So as I'm sitting here an odd thought occurs.  No one (to my knowledge) has complained about me lately.  I find it hilarious.

I was hauled in late last year about my attitude, my tone in emails about lazy dirty folks in the company kitchen, talking about myself, being too loud, driving too fast and generally making me feel like a horrible human being.  The disclaimer is always that upper management loves me but I need to "tone it down" for the rest of humanity.  My answer is always No.

Nothing I'm about to disclose will shock those that know me best.  In the above conversation I was told I have the bar set pretty high for folks to meet.  That I expect people to  be on the same page as me in terms of acting like adults and I'm in charge of the morale in general. Let me add as a post script that people are afraid of me because I asked why they just don't approach me directly if I bother them in some way.

1.  Setting the bar too high.  My kids had the bar set high.  In all ways of manners, schooling, behavior and responsibility.

• Always shake the hand of the person you are meeting and do so with purpose.  That limp dishrag or halfway into the hand holding the fingers is weak and sends the wrong message.  My dad always said shake that hand with intention, let them know who's on the other end.  Force your hand all the way in. Now of course they are more worried about hand sanitizer than the action.  How did we all survive before hand sanitizer.
• Always ask adults how they prefer to be addressed.  I always called my parents friends by Mr or Mrs. or Ms.  Today's efforts to let kids be your friend early on has buried respect for elders and the right to be the adult.  I don't agree.  I've been Ms. "C" forever and I like it.  It meets in the middle.
• I'm not the cool mom.  I'm the one that holds kids accountable.  There is a great story and it's somewhat lengthy but needs to be told.  In the days of homes actually in the home that rang and you all ran to, the rule was the caller needed to say hello, introduce themselves, ask me how I was and then ask for the kid they wanted.  If you came to my house to see my kids you had to introduce yourself, shake my hand and then we'll move onto your visits purpose.
• Ring
• Me - Hello?
• Is Devin there?
• I hang up the phone and both kids look at me 
• Ring
• Me - Hello?
• Ms. C - Is Devin there?
• I hang up the phone and both kids are now asking who's the bozo on the other end
• Ring
• Me - Hello?
• Ms. C - It's Adrien.  Oh, hi Adrien. Is Devin there?
• I hang up the phone and both kids are now desperately embarrassed.  I don't care.
• Ring
• Me - Hello?
• Hi Ms. C it's Adrien.  Hi Adrien.  How are you Ms. C?  I'm great thanks for asking, how are you?  I'm good, I was wondering if I could speak with Devin?  Sure Adrien, he's right here giving me stink eye - hold on.  
• Devin - Dude, I told you the rules.
• Devin had a group of kids coming over and as each one drove up - he greeted them outside laying down the rules.  
• Introduce, shake, ask first and everything in the kitchen is yours to gobble up.  Works every time.

I once had a parent call me and ask me if I knew that after school all the kids were coming to my house to hang out.  Devin was captain of the football team and that meant fellow players, cheerleaders and friends.  I said I did know they were coming over.  She questioned if they were behaving, did I have alcohol in the house and how did I know they weren't basically having orgies and getting drunk.

Well I did stammer a bit and simply state that I trusted my son.  The rules with the kids were, you aren't paying for any of this so you better respect the  house.  They did.

I decided to pay two different surprise visits.  Trust me they were shocked and so was I.  I walked in the first time and Adrien was playing the piano, someone was on guitar and they were all literally singing Christian songs in my living room.  I looked around as if I was in some old Beach Blanket Bingo movie.  Made up some dumb excuse about needing something for work and scampered off.

Next time about a month later was finding them quizzing each other about words in the dictionary.  I'm good, never went back although every alcohol bottle was marked with a felt tip marker as to the level in it.  Turn the bottle upside down though and make that mark.  Not so obvious and easier to track.  Was never missing any.

2.  Be on the same page.  How about the same book?  Business is business and hard feelings do not belong in it.  Once again Dad said men are different in business than women.  There are no emotions in business.   You can certainly be passionate about something but it's not always a contest.  I've been yelled at, embarrassed by someone and by myself.  I've been asked to do things that appear to "not be in my job description" or  beneath me.  My feeling is unless it's disrespectful or out of my knowledge/physical capability I'll do it.  I answer phones, put away supplies, go pick up food and gas cars.  So what - I'm perfectly capable and being paid to be busy 8 hours a day.  

I expect folks to approach me and let me know if I've offended them and trust me I will correct it.  But to stew in silence or go around looking for validation in your feelings about something is really all about you is immature and unnecessary.  The previous ruined a perfectly great friendship and workship with me a couple of years ago.  I don't go for that and seem to always be the one asking to talk to someone about an issue.  Why can't people just talk it out, agree to be different but appreciate what everyone brings to the table to make this world successful.  I do have certain folks in my life that I just can't overlook the huge gap in what I'm willing to be exposed to and just steer clear. 

3.  Tone it down.  I went most of my life acting like I was confident, in charge, smart and knew what I wanted.  I was always worried about what people thought about me.  Always acting like I was supposed to because I was trying to get ahead in banking and be conservative.  I should have thrown all that out the window and pursued a career in dance or comedy.  

• I married too young because I thought nobody would ever want me and I should take what I get - mistake.
• I was told by my mom I wasn't pretty enough to be Rockette so I better find a man and get married.
• Didn't have any money for college so I quit and went to work instead of figuring it out

All that in its small capsule adds up to lack of self esteem.  I finally tried stand up comedy and was successful but a young mom so I put that on hold.  Was great in art  but didn't pursue. Now I do it for fun. Finally got my body in shape and feel fabulous and finally am with someone who really loves me for me and appreciates all I bring to the table.

No, I'm not toning down anything.  I am finally owning who I am and am with the most important folks that actually like me the way I am.  I laugh loud, tend to drop the F bomb, enjoy awesome water (vodka), tap dance, read, sing badly, love country dancing with DD,  have Texas big hair, enjoy false eyelashes and am rocking the cowboy boots.  

Yes, I have at work simply rebooted and don't feel the need to wrap everyone into my life or get validation anymore that way.  Things are great and when they aren't I plow ahead.  Took me 55 years but I'm there.

3.  People are afraid of me.

Because of all of the above, evidently the bottom line is I have the distinct honor of always being a mom and frankly people just don't want to let me down.  That's the afraid part.  It's not fair and in my good friend here always says - "you are not the boss of the world, mom".  Well, yes as a matter of fact I am.  I believe we all should hold each other accountable for the fall of manners, respect, truth, ethics and behavior.  That's what parents do.  Especially moms.  

So to wrap up the rambling. . . . and assign homework. . .  Be the person you know you are supposed to be.  Put aside assuming the worst, assume the best and be pleasantly surprised.  I'm OK being naive and let down because the opposite is never giving anyone a chance.  That is not to say certain behaviors by folks absolutely can be determined from history, environment or evidence.  Just speak the truth, it's always hard to keep a lie going.  Be sincere.  Be someone your mom would be proud of.  

Love to all and happy weekend.

Malts vs Shakes

So for the three of us in the office today - discussion up front as I declare. . . . I so NEED a Carl's Jr. Chocolate Malt.

Everyone has their favorite place.  For me any place can make a shake, but not everywhere makes malts.  Maree and I have become connnoisseurs in this matter.  DD on the other hand is not too picky as long as strawberry is offered.

So, DD and I have it figured out.  We drive thru Jack in the Box for the larger than life Strawberry Banana shake with whip cream for him then just next door to Carl's for mine.

There is a technique in devouring this little bit of goodness.780 calories and 35 grams of fat.  In order to make it all work this should actually be 3 meals but once in awhile you just gotta do it.  Carl's has the domed plastic lid with the whip cream poking out the top.  I stick my tongue right down in the opening and start sucking it out.  What I can't get to gets stirred into the rest of the malt.

DD on the other hand has finished his entire shake before I get thru the whip cream and is asking for "10 more please".  I'm not kidding.  I don't know where he puts it.

The only other places I'll go for one is Dairy Queen or Fosters Freeze.  They seem to have it figured out.  31 flavors incredibly over rated and expensive.  After all if I'm really just after the malty flavor and a vacuum of whip cream why pay $5 for it.

Malt powder is great in your home made waffle batter.  Other than than the jar just sits in the pantry waiting for me to get a hankering.  I feel one coming on.  soon.

Linda

Just off the phone with Maree.  Someone today asked her if her family was all in California.  She stumbled and fumbled, glossed over her eyes and said yes.  Not before telling the young man that asked, that she hadn't been asked that before because her usual answer is yes with one in Virginia.  He apologized.  It's always awkward.

I'm driving to work today and hear Carrie Underwood's song See You Again and start crying.  I'm thinking it's about a lover, God and certainly it applies to a sister.  Last night I went shopping for the statement pieces of jewelry I want to wear with the dress I'm wearing to Robbie's wedding in July.  I get it's not about me but I also understand we "represent" the Mitchell's.  We are the cool, hip California Aunts folks have heard about but have no idea what we are really all about.

Maree and I are a force to be reckoned with.  Not a little, a lot.  Maree decided her Power color is Royal Blue and she wanted to wear it to Robbie's wedding.  I'd already bought a royal blue amazing dress but conceded to her as I know her in a dress is a big deal.  Well, a short dress would have been a big deal but it's long one so not so much.  She sent me the pictures and it will be fabulous.

I had bought a long somethin' somethin' on my girls trip to Oxnard not too long ago and I tried it on for Alexis and Maree.  They are either fantastic liars or I really do look amazing in it.  So, I'm wearing that dress now instead of the short royal blue knock out I had in mind.

I don't know how long it's going to take us to quote move on.  I don't feel like moving on.  I feel as if I need to validate Linda on all levels.

Maree said she's going to see a psychic and wanted to know if I want to ask anything.  For the record, I'm a skeptic.  Big Time.  I did request - ask Linda if I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.  What happens if I don't like the answer.  Well, let's hope all has been resolved at that point.

Psychics.  Odd lot don't you think?  DD is agnostic.  I struggle but don't judge.  It really is what you've been raised with.  I tell him all the time I talk to GOD about him. I really do.  I pray in a lot of ways for hope, love and to release bitterness.  I do not pray for him to forgive.  He has earned the right to hate in this case and although it grieves me to constantly hear the names associated with the infraction and disrespect to the contract of marriage I get it.  He usually says he's ruined me.  I used to go to church all the time. Every week.  Then things changed.  I give my money to real people. Real charities.  Things that make a difference.  I'm really not interested in converting the world.  I just want to help.

I donated money in memory of Linda to a breast cancer walk recently.  To the Ahmanson Theatre as she loved the arts.  I buy folks meals.  I give away great clothing.  I'm not buying "stuff" anymore.  Over it.

Homework. . . . look in your closet.  Your cupboard.  Your bank account.  Do we really need 20 versions of the same white blouse?  How about 30 pair of jeans?  I'm not saying give it away - just be smart about where you spend your happiness money.  If you are alone as Linda was, don't waste it on the hobby that isn't going to make you happy.  Spend it on the charity that makes the item you like.  Donate your time somewhere important to you.  Ok, so that being said I only give money in most cases because what matters to me is abused children and all I want to do is kill the rat  bastards that do the harm.  I stay away from the physical proof that these kids had inflicted on them because it's too much.  I write a check.  Make it better. Believe in humanity and that there are people that are going to make a difference.

Ok, off to make bacon sandwiches and omelettes for DD who is a self described "trash collector" and keeping the city clean of the dirt bags that try to make us lose faith.  It's the parents.  It's always the parents fault.  Stop the cycle.  Make a difference.

Love, serious Peace and make your mark.

CAL

Clothes you'll never wear again

At our recent adult tap competition in Anaheim, there was quite the drill to find something snappy and appropriate for our age and the number we were dancing to.  We were all on the hunt for sparkle and I was tasked with "our upper arms need to be covered" and somewhat modest.  This is not an easy task.

Online at Macy's, JCPenney, Kohls, Sears, Overstock, Shop NBC and HSN.  Found 2 perfect tops at HSN and Overstock.  Both Deep navy with sequins.  One is 3/4 sleeve with  sequins around the neck and down the sleeves.  Bought it in black as well for the studio owner Kay - whom I love to death.

The other is a kimono wing sleeved incredibly snazzy top we wore with long black tap pants.  Everyone is digging this top (the judges would later write in their comments we looked very elegant) and we have asked DD to take a picture of all of us.  Funny thing is we take the picture in the other shirt with our black skirts but not this top.  We are walking down the hall and DD whispers - that is a beautiful top, you would look great dancing in that when we go out.  So, here's where the struggle starts.  I've now put it on as a "costume".  It was a costume before it was a going out dancing top so I'm going to have to get over it because I do really like the top.

Similar to when you are pregnant for the first time.  You aren't fooled in your 2nd or beyond with this stooopid line of thinking.  If I get this just the right size, I could belt it and where this dress later.  Same theory - it's now become your pregnant costume.  You are NEVER going to wear that damn dress again - get over it.  Also don't save your clothes for the next pregnancy.  They won't fit.  Trust me.  I gained 75 lbs and delivered at 190lbs.  Trust me I never wanted to see those clothes again.

How about the bridesmaid dress.  Those stories are legendary.  I got smart this time.  Alexis, my amazing daughter, has asked me to be her Maid of Honor and well as mother of the bride.  I couldn't be more honored.  Well, I bought the dress she wants us all to wear - do yourself a favor and get one.  Henkaa - Henkaa.com.  This dress (I got royal blue for myself and the deep purple for the wedding) turns into about 100 dresses.  The fabric does not wrinkle, feels like silk, travels in a wadded up ball and will steal the show. DD and I on the Allure by Royal Carribean were approached several times asking me about the dress.  I have the short version and when you twirl it goes full Ginger Rogers.  I don't care how old you are, spinning is necessary to first of all feel pretty and secondly to see what the rest of the crowd is going to be viewing.  Spinning in the dress made me wear my skimpy black dancer shorts underneath.  No free show on the cruise.

Now, DD has purchased some True Religion jeans a the outlet in Cabazon, CA.  TR has distressed and put in holes but patched them from the back with that very vibrant Mexican Sarape material that is striped and durable.  They've also covered one of the pocket flaps in the sarape.  Very cool.  Yes, we bought one to try.  I'm going to try it out on a pair of jeans I'm never going to wear again.  Unfortunately I have a few of those.  I also have a pair of jean shorts I'd to experiment on.  Who knows, just might work.  I'll let you know.

Back from the cruise

Another fantastic weekend with DD.  Left work right after covering the phones up front and headed out.  Arrived 1:25 PM and loading the boat started at 1:30 PM.  Found food, drinks, our cabin and the fun started.  Our favorite place to sit and people watch is the pool bar.  There's a great high top and while playing our incredibly awful going to hell game of "you're her/him) you actually appear to be looking at the pool and not the people.

So, some very interesting observations.
50+ year old woman.  Very large to the point of it's difficult for her to walk wore a tiara the entire weekend. Not with her hair done, not proclaiming a celebration of any kind, just a big rhinestone tiara with stringy blond hair.  Odd.

Lots of bachelorette parties, bachelor parties and groups of just girls who have a lot of confidence in themselves and what they are wearing.  Which always gets a response from me of "why do I worry about what I look like?"  Some folks just really have no friends.  A real friend would have stopped them and said Hell NO you are not wearing that!!!

Caucasians were the minority and not a bad thing just a really obvious thing.  Can't say I've noticed before but I'm guessing on a sold out ship the percentages were:

Middle Eastern - 30%
Hispanic/African American 30%
Asian - 30%
Caucasian - 10%

I don't understand the families that bring the stroller with a bunch of tiny kids.  One family had a wagon with 3 kids under the age of 3 in it.  How can that possibly be fun for anyone.  They dragged it into formal dining, shows, everywhere.  Just weird, and expensive!

Did some dancing then showed up for our 8:15 PM dinner we signed up for.  Only problem is they didn't slot us there it was full (we booked the cruise last minute Tuesday) and neither of us looked at the cards - yeah our dinner was at 6:00 PM.  Not to worry they found us a slot next to a group of 10 guys, all here from Sacramento for a Bachelor party.  "Brian" within about 5 minutes gave us all their names, they have all basically known each other since Kindergarten.  They are all displaying horrible table manners (oddly except for the groom) literally holding their forks like garden spades and shoveling their food in there mouths.  Brian works for Coca Cola, has a beautiful sister (which all the boys verified) liked the work FUCK a lot and I'm pretty sure is never going to get laid in his life without paying for it.  He would not shut up.  We were held hostage by the thought of our dinner arriving or we would have left.  DD just kept saying it's a good thing it was us there and not some nice Mormon couple.  That would have been disastrous.

Off to the welcome aboard show, more drinks then bed.  DD knows how to always make me feel beautiful, desired and appreciated.  Don't know that I'll ever get used to it and I'm always surprised when he looks at me very sincerely and pays a compliment like it's the first time he's seen me.  Trust me, men should take a few lessons from him.

Saturday in Ensenada:

The usual round of stores.  The liquor store recognizes us and I get 3 bottles.  2 as gifts and one to keep.  Pay the man and tell him we'll be back to pick it all up - too heavy to carry.  DD basically says I'm crazy for trusting the guy but I've been there a gajillion times, he's not fly by night and I always have faith in people.  I get why he doesn't and once in awhile I understand I will pay for my faith thru stupidity and loose money, an item or my pride.  I'm ok with it.

We (me) are on the hunt for pink cowboy boots.  We walk for what seems like miles and wind up getting a cream/peach pair that is comfortable, beautiful and inspires DD to declare I'm crazy and over the top with boots.  I am.  We buy a Mexican woven blanket to try our hand at a new style True Religion jeans is doing by distressing and making holes with the blanket as the patch underneath and showing thru.  I'll post when I do a pair I've got.  I then found my Talavera store and got 2 shots glasses and a covered butter dish.  Now we head to the taqueria next to Hussongs and chow down some not so great El Pastor tacos.  Back to the ship, little lovin', back off the ship to goof around at the dock store and get motrin and back to get ready for dinner because now we are going to meet our real dinner peeps.

Table of 10 - older (we think about 65) Filipino couple, Gay guys married from Phoenix, irritating laugh white guy with Asian gal he stalked and met in Target and then the 40 year old with the much younger gal who's dad is an under sheriff up north that stalked her thru a friend on Facebook.  Filipino couple is 55.  What the hell happens to people? Nice conversation.  They start pressing about why DD and I aren't married.  DD simply states he's been married twice, I state I was married for 22 years. Gay guys get a little more aggressive with the questioning to me - do you want to marry again?  That conversation happens quietly while DD is talking to the other couple and has moved on from the line of questioning.

We then go to 2 comedy shows, dance, eat, drink, love and sleep.  Perfect day

Sunday at Sea

Chilly, gloomy and windy.  We find a TV in the coffee cafe and turn on the Indy 500.  Now remember part of the reason I've look forward to all of this is to NOT think about Linda or the remaining task of her home in Washington.  A woman joins DD and I, starts crying, she just lost her husband of 22 years ago last week. Proceeds to detail everything on her plate for about 15 minutes then asks if this is depressing us.  Yes, it is.  I'm sorry for you loss I actually really do know how you feel but don't want to talk about any of it.  She left.  It was awful.

DD had tripped up the stairs and jammed his middle finger on the left hand warranting a trip to the doctors office way down below on the 3rd level.  Ice for a couple hours, black and blue and swollen but not broken or dislocated.

Spent the rest of the day doing boat games, dancing, eating, drinking, napping and laughing.  Into bed about 1:30AM.  Another perfect weekend.

Monday
Off the boat at 8:30, Denny's for breakfast in Corona and back to bed by 10:30AM for both of us until about 4:00PM  Then it's off to graveyard shift for him and I tackle his suitcase, finish painting a wall in the kids bathroom, eat another awful Fresh Diet meal and skype with Maree.  Nighty night.

LInda's stuff arrived

So I woke up at about 5:15AM craving that damn Crystal Light fruit punch.  Off I go in my birthday suit downstairs to take a swig.  Go back upstairs and check my phone, not sure where I left off with the texts and DD.  11:18 last night the moving company driver texts me and tells me he'll meet me at 8:00AM.  Great.  Then it hits me - I had planned on going into work so the key to the padlock is at work on the key ring to the Yukon we keep there.  Hello 50 mile round trip at 5:30AM.

Get back, shower and head off to the units and then to Del Taco where Murad the driver is.  He's funny, smart, been in the US 15 years and speaks better than most natural Americans.  He was born in Jerusalem and is proud of it.  Shows me pictures of his family and I of course share my story of Linda and why he is here today.  I drive him back to the storage units and all hell breaks loose.

His truck is too long to make the turns - per the storage company.  Murad says he can do it - but they say no dice.  They say go thru the gate 100 yards west - he says no it's on gravel/dirt and he will get stuck.  Testosterone is flying and I'm in the middle with a weak vajayjay.

Murad and I take off for UHaul to rent a truck to transfer all the stuff to then again move into the unit.  He also then informs me it's an extra $500 for the wait time, drive time, workers etc.  At a point down the road a certain someone will make me feel completely stupid and ridiculous for paying it.  Understand I don't have it in me to fight on any front.

We get it loaded.  I've run to Del Taco and fed them 3 of everything they wanted and drinks.  DD and Robbie have arrived because the UHaul truck now has a dead battery and they will save the day.  I think.  We return the truck, go to Five Guys for a burger not on my diet.  They go home, I go to look at things and there's so much I don't know where to begin so I give up and go home.  DD is attempting to put together the Bowflex Treadclimber I've brought home from the movers and is using, hmmmm, colorful language during the process.  Terms like - this fucking piece of shit belongs in the trash.  Ok, so Linda paid $2000+, never used it and I'm confused.  Apparently the movers took it apart in a manner it should have never been taken apart in.  I finally say - It's an expensive piece of equipment - please stop.  I can hire someone to do this.  The cursing stops but the picture taking begins and I call the moving company to file a complaint.  I love feeling stressed out about this and that I'm a complete idiot apparently.

I've been hoping to find the box with the Bossen Head ceramic collection and all the beads an stones I packed.  Funny thing about that.  I got a letter from the Post Office 4 months ago with a label from a box I shipped.  Perfectly cut off the box and supposedly missing in action.  I've now concluded that box is the one with what I wanted.  It's only sad because those ceramic heads were my dads who died in '88.  The beads are expensive and some rat bastard decided they need them more than me.  Have at it and karma is a bitch.

Gave up on the work day, used yet another sick day for Linda and tried to take a nap. Got a call from the jeweler that my bracelet was fixed, diamond stud earrings adjusted with shorter posts and new screwbacks and paid another $100.  Got home - did my thing and cooked up 1 pound of bacon for DD, make him a BLT for dinner on the go - Omelet with bacon, tomato and cheese and crystal light fruit punch.  Packed for our weekend cruise - painted the edge lines in the kids bathroom and our bathroom (I'm re-doing) and ate a snack.

Snack. . . . Took Maree's recommendation for the Fresh Diet and I've never been sorrier or wasted more money.  Too many details but my snack tonight was steamed broccoli with carmelized pears.  Never found the pears, it had 2 big onions and was spicy hot so that I finally threw it away.  Oh dear.

Packed for the cruise.  On my second glass of awesome water and looking forward to getting away tomorrow after work to Ensenada.  I'm buying tequila for Tony - my awesome friend at work - maybe some things for the house in Havasu and some quality time with my guy.

DD is funny.  I need to remember sleep deprivation is an awful thing.  I tend to go to that place of "what did I do wrong now" which is not his fault but the way I lived for a very long time before I met him.  Then I realize he's tired.  Who wouldn't be.  How do you work 3-4 days a week 6PM to 6AM and then try to be regular hours on the weekend.  He snaps, doesn't say things in the way he normally would and totally over reacts.  But then I always get a kiss goodbye, coffee in the morning and an admiring glance as well as his trust in the fact that I will always be here waiting for him.  It's been two years now and it feels like last week. 

Good night and off I go tomorrow with more adventures.  I'll save it for my return from Mexico - wait for it!

Homework ----- Make someone a special meal.  Tonight I made DD a BLT on a multigrain round and an omelette to go in foil.  The point is, and so many of you get this, make someone feel special.  If you are alone - send them a random $5 Starbucks card or something different.  My sister Maree loves to tell the story of how I randomly pay for the car behind me in the drive thru line.  I don't give to church anymore - I give to real people and humanity.  Go for it!

Linda's stuff

Most of you know my life (and those of my family) changed Christmas Eve 2012.  It's been just a day short tomorrow of 5 months.  Maree and I packed up a 3 story house in a week. Donated so many things I can only hope it changed other lives for the better.

The rest - I attempted to execute the will with.  For those of you new to the front - the will has been deemed invalid as Linda, my sister 11.5 months younger than me,  didn't have it witnessed.  She notarized it which verifies that it was her but the witnesses prove she did it under her own free will.  Yeah, she lined thru that and specifically wrote - no witnesses.  Not sure if she was being super smart or uber stupid on that one.  I've managed to settle absolutely everything without attorney's until next month when I tackle her home in the state of Washington.

Back to storage... It's a 54 foot tractor trailer and is arriving sometime tomorrow after noon.  I've rented a 10x25 foot storage unit.  She had 3 bedrooms - huge, 2nd story of all the essentials and basement (really a grand room) of arts and crafts, couch, history of her life and more.  I seriously don't remember anything about what is on that truck.  Too much emotion.  Too much grief.  Too little time to pack it all up and make sense of it all.

They are supposed to call me when they are an hour out.  I found one set of storage unit keys and remembered the keys to the bigger unit are on the key ring where I work in my desk.  grrrrr.  I've now sent myself a note to pull the key ring.  I'll direct the order to stack things as her daughter, Erin, needs the bed, table and her personal belongings which were picked up by Bob - Linda's amazing guy, and delivered to the moving company for transportation.  I'm actually worried about it all.  I might cry and the poor delivery guys aren't going to know why.  I will feel obligated to tell them the tragedy of it.  I sometimes need to make sure people know that Linda died too young.  I need to remind people she was here.

On that note. . . . I've received a couple of notes from a sister.  The last one appeared to be about 4 pages of typed single spaced thoughts.  Sorry,  I just couldn't do the roller coaster.  I threw it away without reading it.  I'm telling this to Anita Fairy Dust (my hair magician and friend) last night and she was shocked.  You threw it away without reading it?  I did.  That is so Maree!  hahahah.  The teacher has become the student.

I need to focus on just the things that make sense and make me happy.  I tread on fragile ground here but when I left on a dime and didn't return for a month to work there were exactly 2 people that proactively emailed me.  The reasoning by many later is that "they didn't know".  The funeral happened and 3 people from work showed up.  After all, it was only my sister.  Those 3 will be remembered in my soul forever. No flowers, cards or emails.  When I returned from all of this I got my annual review and was actually told that perhaps the reason was because I'm self absorbed.  The lack of attendance was used in my "performance" review.  I have not forgiven nor will I ever forget that completely inappropriate statement or assessment.

The great thing is when I returned I was back in action making sure everything was in order for another employees grief.  That employee deserved it.  She left me a card, not knowing she too would be suffering.

I've said it over and over again.  For GOD's sake. . . get someone you trust on  your accounts.  Tell somebody your final wishes - no one wants to hear it but they need to - and get beneficiaries on your accounts.  My kids are taken care of - forever.  DD finally got the message and put his kids as bene's.  I remember when Roc's and my first born Tiffany passed away and they asked me if we had life insurance on our newborn.  Really?  No.  Hadn't crossed our mind.  But trust me both of us have our own life insurance.

Ok, signing off for tonight.  Packing for a cruise this weekend and ramping up for Linda tomorrow.

Those of you on my nightly updates with Linda - homework. . . . . .

Review your life insurance plan and get someone on your accounts.

Love to all - CAL

Sunday May 19, 2013

Spruced up the Grey Goddess this past Saturday and took her Sunday to the Richard Nixon Library in Yorba Linda.     Driving along the 10 fwy west to the 57 we stop at Sams Club for gas.  I love the look on folks faces when this parade float of a car pulls in.  I don't know where they think I should be buying gas (England?) for the car but it likes 87 only and we put in lead additive.

Ok, so continue on our journey, decide we have a half hour to kill and McDonald's is the ticket.  That is until we pull into the only McDonald's I've ever seen that is NOT a drive through and every non-church goer in the world is there.  U turn back to the car and continue to the event.  Thankfully there are muffins and coffee.

The tour was great, the docents incredibly knowledgeable and a great box lunch from Stefan's Honey Baked Ham store.  There were about 40 people in attendance and the only table open was with 2 gentlemen.  I only knew, sort of, one person in the group.  Last time I went it was with Maree and we were in the Christmas parade in Palos Verdes.  

The two men are well tanned and dressed with how shall I say. . . style?  Pinky rings, shirts a little too tight and hair just so.  I ask where they drove in from and what they are driving.  Now it's on. . .

"Well we've been in our desert home (Palm Desert) for the last couple of weeks.  We live in Long Beach and we have a Corniche but didn't drive it, we just came in our other car."  Ok, so if they didn't drive their $250,000 Corniche, I wasn't going to ask what car they arrived in but the question hung in the air.

They then asked me.  I have a 1958 RR Silver Cloud 1.  (Which by the looks of the other cars that arrived was the oldest and least expensive - hello Jed Clampett).  I then offer up - "yes she and I are the same age.  Both original condition, a few dents and no body work.  Oh, wait, I had my bumpers done".

At this one of them appears verklempt and chokes out a stammering "oh my".  DD just shakes his head and as usual goes with it.  We continue the tour, stop by Macy's get a few things I feel I can't live without and then take the car back to her garage at the Speedway.  End up the day with Awesome water, no dinner and an edgy heated discussion about painting the kids bathroom that ends the night in that weird silence.  Really? Painting turned into a bad ending to a great weekend.  

Oh well, Monday is always a fresh start and off we go to sleep.